Nights Like These

Days like today are followed by nights like these.

It’s night like these when on the drive home I’m kicking myself the whole way, driving slow to make it last. I punish my animals when they don’t live up to my expectations of a domesticated house pet.

It’s nights like these when my  head hangs low as my husbandry farce is exposed.

It’s nights like these that start and end with something to numb my thoughts. I know the predators are out specifically as I write this because I saw and heard.

I can only hope I’ve done enough to protect the little ones who trust me with more than they know on nights like these.

It’s nights like these that’ll make you question whether you know what you’re doing and hope that nature and God give you grace enough not to pay the penance correlated to your mistakes.

It’s nights like these when I realize I’m way farther into it than I’d planned and there’s no looking back now.

It’s nights like these that I’ve lost my appetite, but I force something down so I can start mornings that don’t end in nights like these.